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Jordan Journey
Jan. 1st, 2010
07:29 am - Site Information
Here I share with you my observations on my beloved adopted country of Jordan.
NOTE: Sorry I haven't been updating this page much. January has been a busy month, then I got a virus-- two viruses really, one in my head and the other in my computer. I'm still working on recovering from them...
Jan. 16th, 2007
10:11 pm - 5 Things you don't know about me, part 5
5. I think the Arabs got some things right when it comes to courtship
The term “arranged marriage” has a lot of negative connotations in the west. In every instance of arranged marriage that you will see on TV in the US, the bride and groom hardly know each other, and one or both of them is usually pressured into it. Neither of those situations are usually the case here in Jordan. Though both rushed and pressured marriages happen at times, in the cases I have seen that are rushed, it is usually the bride and groom doing the rushing. The "pressure" surrounding marriage is not so much "here's-the-groom-we've-picked-out-marry-h
There are two main things I’ve come to appreciate about the courtship process I’ve seen here: first, that the whole family is involved and second, that young people in general are more intentional. Once a young man decides he wants to get married, he’s not too shy to say so. His mom and aunties and cousins, and grandmothers and neighbors start looking for a bride for him. If they know of a nice girl, they will tell him about her, and if he’s interested, word goes back through the grapevine that he’d like to meet her, and get to know her— for the purpose of marriage. If he meets a girl himself, he will often talk to her brothers or dad, or send his mom to talk to her mom, again with the message that he’d like to discuss marriage.
There are lots of advantages that I see resulting from this process. The involvement of the whole family protects the girl’s reputation-- which is very important here. And though the family is present when a young man visits a lady, the family is very discreet about it-- meaning that though a girl is getting to know a young man, the rest of the world may not know about it until and unless an engagement is announced. (This also helps protect her from getting a reputation for talking to a lot of guys.) I appreciate that guys are courageous enough to state plainly their intentions. And in many ways the system here helps them be courageous. First, they guy's family often encourages him to ask about girls he might not have the courage to ask about (what mother doesn't think her son is just the most wonderful boy around?). Secondly, there is often a bit of annonimity at the first stages: when he sends word asking if she’d like to talk to him, she’ll be given some details about him, but she might not even be told his name. I think it might be easier to get up the courage to ask if he’s not risking being rejected personally. Another advantage to the Jordanian way is that most people are not afraid to ask the hard questions from the beginning. I think this helps people make rational decisions before romance clouds their judgement. Finally, people know where they stand: they don’t have to wonder for years “Does he/she like me? What are his/her intentions?”
Of course, it's not a perfect system. It has its flaws too. But then every human relationship will have flaws due to the sinful nature of humans. But I believe it is important to appreciate the positive aspects of other culture's systems when you see them.
Jan. 15th, 2007
11:24 pm - 5 Things You Don't Know About Me, Part 4
I like to experiment with Arabic caligraphy.
Jan. 13th, 2007
11:11 pm - 5 Things You Don't Know About Me, Part 3
Yesterday I wrote about something I hate. Today, I’ll tell you I love to sing. Not pop music, though. I can’t even listen to most radio—the first song in a set is “I’m-so-in-love-with-her-though-I-don’t-k
I much prefer to sing about God’s love, which never changes!
Jan. 12th, 2007
09:09 pm - 5 things you don't know about me, part 2
I Hate Bananas
It’s the texture. And the flavor doesn’t make up for the texture.
Jan. 11th, 2007
09:45 pm - 5 Things you didn't know about me, Part 1
Well, I’ve been tagged by Summer to tell you “Five Things You Don’t Know About Me”. It’s a rather hard assignment, since most of you reading this are family and friends who have known me fore years. So I’ll try to include a few things that are new for my on-line readers, and a few that are new for everybody. First thing (that you already knew), I’m long-winded, so I’m going to spread the five things out over five days.
1. I’m a wallflower
For those of you who only know me through this journal, it may surprise you to know I’m a wallflower. I LOVE social settings, but I like not having to be the center of attention. I am content to sit quietly and let everyone else talk. I think it was actually an advantage to me when learning Arabic. For about three years when I lived in California, I had lots of Arab friends. I would visit them, and just sit and listen to them talk to each other. Every once in a while, someone would remember I was there, and say, “Let’s speak English so Rebecca can understand.” But I would tell them, no, please keep speaking Arabic. I didn’t feel like I HAD to be involved in the conversation. But by the end of three years, I could understand Arabic pretty well. I think learning to listen also gave me a better foundation for learning to speak Arabic and to speak it clearly.
Jan. 10th, 2007
09:37 pm - It still looks a lot like Christmas
In the US, it seems stores start putting out their Christmas displays around the Fourth of July. OK, maybe not that early, but definitely after Halloween. On November 1st, everything pumpkin-y disappears, and it is instantly Christmas. Christmas is in full swing for the next two months. But on December 26th, it all disappears, and Christmas is over. (Same goes for Easter and every other holiday.)
I was a little shocked my first year here in Jordan to find that people celebrated Easter the week AFTER the holiday. Even though I had experienced Easter here, I was surprised by the local “Christmas schedule”. All through November, there was hardly a hint of Christmas in the stores. I found out that the un-official start of the holiday is St. Barbara’s day on December 9, and after that you’ll see a fair amount of Christmas decorations going up.
And Christmas is definitely not over on December 26th! Orthodox Christians here in Jordan celebrate Christmas on January 9th, so everyone’s decorations stay up at least until then. And of course, there’s a week of visiting and celebrating after the holiday…
Today, I was sitting with a friend of mine in her living room, looking at her Christmas tree, and she said, “Christmas sure went by fast this year!” I thought it a funny thing to say in the middle of January!
Jan. 9th, 2007
09:33 pm - Home again
And now for my favorite part of any trip… going home!
The plane we were on was fairly new. At one point during the flight, I looked up and noticed something different. The “fasten seat belts” symbol was illuminated, but next to it was not a “no smoking” symbol. They had replaced it with text saying “Please turn off all electronic devises.” A sign of our times, I guess. We know we can’t smoke on planes, but we’re addicted to our electronic devises!
Speaking of smoking, this sign in the lavatory caught my eye.
“Subject to legal prosecution”? Where? It was the Jordanian airline. I can just see the courtroom scene now… the defendant is standing before the judge, who is smoking as he deliberates the case.
Then I really had to laugh, as I noticed…
an ash tray located just below the sign!
As soon as we got off the plane, people started lighting up. It’s sad that cigarettes are the first thing you smell when arriving in Jordan. It was a bit of a shock after not being around cigarette smoke for three days while I was in Abu Dhabi and Dubai. I kept shooting “death stares” at anyone who got near me with a cigarette in the baggage claim. I pray for the day when there will be a culture shift in Jordan—a day when smoking will be considered a shameful activity because of the damage it does to the smoker’s health, the health of everyone around him or her, and the general health of the economy!
Jan. 8th, 2007
09:18 pm - Burjumania
Today, we are off to Dubai.
Approaching Dubai
They say there are more construction cranes here than in any other city in the world. 
It’s almost surreal, really. In some areas, it looks like a whole city under construction.
I saw a sign saying “Burjumania” (Tower-mania) and it fits! Dubai-ers (Dubai-ites? Dubai-ees?) love their towers! First there was Burj al Arab.
(not my photograph)
The local people have adopted this tower as a symbol of their city. Images of it are everywhere—even on their license plates!!
As an architect, it makes me ask myself, “Is the latest building I’m designing something that will capture people’s imagination… something that is so dynamic that people would want it on their license plates?” (Currently, the answer is “no”, by the way.)
For their latest project, they are erecting Burj Dubai.
When finished, it is expected to be the world’s tallest building.
Jan. 7th, 2007
09:04 pm - Abu Dhabi
Abu Dhabi… It has the sound of someplace remote and exotic. It sounds like someplace you’d find old men in a souq sipping strong coffee all day. Perhaps it doesn’t sound like a buzzing metropolis of skyscrapers…
Abu Dhabi is a pretty city, clean, and the weather was perfect today.
I particularly love these little mosques that are wedged in between the skyscrapers.
They say they don’t believe in ever tearing down a mosque, once one is built. So as the city grew up around them, these little neighborhood mosques stayed, holding their ground.
08:08 pm - Malls of the world
When they told me I was going to Abu Dhabi, my first question was, “Is there an IKEA there?” (Fortunately, I didn’t speak the question out loud.) I found out there IS and IKEA here! So as soon as I could, I head off to the mall.
After stocking up at IKEA (It’s amazing how much you can get for $20), dinner at the café (won’t they love that $2 dinner on my expense report?), and getting a catalogue to pour over at home (you never know—I might be back), I decided to check out the rest of the mall.
The rest of the mall was a bit of a disappointment. Perhaps here I could find some decent quality, modest business clothes for a reasonable price. No, I’m afraid that’s too much to ask. Most of the stores sell the same low-cut stuff they sell anywhere else in the world for the westerners and the Asians to buy. The rest of the stores sell Abayas for the local women to wear over the same low-cut stuff they sell anywhere else in the world. I guess there’s no happy medium. I’m longing for a Sears, and a nice selection of Sag Harbor business clothes. (Did anyone ever notice that the name “Sag Harbor” was an unfortunate choice for a line of clothing targeted to middle aged women? Just wondering.) And is it just me, or is it not impossible to find a pair of slacks any more? I find plenty of pants, but slacks should have some slack in them!
Though I struck out in the clothing department, I had great success at the book store. I found a book store just crammed with books—mostly in English. I picked up two more of the “#1 Ladies Detective Agency” books, Grisham’s “A Painted House”, and “The Journey of Ibn Fatouma” by Naguib Mahfouz (in English).
Jan. 6th, 2007
10:49 pm
Last week, I woke up to find that the fender on my car was missing. It had been parked facing the street on a rainy, icy night, and it’s possible someone knocked it off by accident or that vandals just ripped it off. 
I went to my insurance company the next day, and Aladdin the Insurance Guy tells me, “Sorry, we don’t cover that.”
“But, why?”
“Well, you don’t have a police report.”
The next few days were holidays, but as soon as I was able, I went to the police station, told them what happened and the police filled out a report. I went back to the insurance company that day, and the lady there tells me, “We’re closed today for the holiday. Try back in two days.”
I went back early in the morning two days later, tell Aladdin the Insurance Guy what happened, and show him my police report. He puts his assistant to work on it.
After a while, the assistant calls me over: “We’ve contacted the parts supplier, and they say that the fender will cost only $7. You’re deductable is $30. If you fix it, you pay the $7. If we fix it, you pay the whole $30. You’re better off just fixing it yourself”.
So he gives me the name and number of the parts supplier. I tried calling the parts supplier, but when I asked where he was located, I didn’t even recognize the name of the neighborhood. He wasn’t able to give me directions that were any good. What am I going to do?
I decided to call my friend’s driver who takes care of my car maintenance issues. He couldn’t come that day, but he was able to come today. This morning, he picked up my car, and took the parts supplier’s name and phone number. A few hours later, he shows up looking rather sheepish…
“Um… I… um… I got the car fixed…
…and then I... um… I crashed it.”
He had rear-ended a big truck. Fortunately, there was no damage to the truck, but he smashed up my bumper, broke a headlight, and crumpled the hood a bit. Oh, and bent the new fender... and the fender on the other side...
“No problem,” I told him. “Just go to the police department and get a police report. Then we’ll go to the insurance company and tell them what happened.”
A few hours later he returns with the police report, and I take it into the insurance company. I walk up to Aladdin the Insurance Guy, and tell him “I crashed my car”.
“Same as last time, or again?”
“No, again,” and I told him the story.
My insurance company is gonna hate me.
(In the taxi on the way back from the insurance company, we followed a blue mid-eighties model Volvo for a while. I found myself jealous of them and their metal bumpers with shock absorbers in the bumper.)
Jan. 5th, 2007
10:49 pm - The Gift
Growing up in the Pacific Northwest, I assumed that rain was weather's "default" setting. Sunny days were a gift to be savored and enjoyed.
After moving to Southern California, I noticed a different attitude in the people there. They assumed that Sunshine was the natural order of things. I even remember one person I knew on a rainy day acting as if he had been personally insulted by the weather. How dare it rain! Did the weather not know that he DESERVED sunshine? Morover, in Southern California, there is less of a connection between rain falling from the sky and water flowing from the tap. It could stop raining for a whole year in Southern California, but the water would still flow through aquaducts from some distant valley over the mountains.
Today some friends of mine took me to visit their farm. On our way there, it started sprinkling, and by the time we came back, we were fighting a downpour.
"Everytime you come with us to the farm it rains," they said.
"I don't mind," I said. "Where I'm from rain is normal, and sunshine is a gift."
They replied, "Here in Jordan, sun is normal, and rain is a gift."
Jan. 4th, 2007
10:30 pm - Happy days are here again!
Today I finally got the boiler working. Well, kind of. I got into the boiler room and after letting the boiler run for a little while, by feeling which pipes were hot or cold, realized there was a valve closed. I opened the valve, and now the radiator in the kitchen works! I now have a place to dry my clothes! I still can't figure out how to get the radiators in the rest of the house working, but one's not bad. If I keep the kitchen door closed, it heats up nicely in there.
Jan. 3rd, 2007
10:01 pm - Like none other
This week Roba gets a second nod in our "best-of-the-Jordanian-blog-o-sphere series" for her post on the famous song "The Secret of Eternity" by Fairuz.
Fairuz is easily the Arab world's most famous and beloved singer. Now over 70 years old, she has been singing professionally for more than fifty years. Most of her most famous songs are Arabic folk songs.
I have to admit, when I first heard Fairuz, I didn't immediately like it. It was too high pitched and too much of a minor key for my western-accostomed ears. But quickly, I've come to enjoy her music. The song featured by Roba in the link above is probably my favorite Fairuz song. I get it stuck in my head, even though I don't know the words.
Jan. 2nd, 2007
10:22 pm
Today I saw that the Car Washing Brothers have hired a new employee. Business must be good. It's becoming a regular car-washing-conglomerate.
Dec. 29th, 2006
10:05 pm - ... Loves Company
"Soba, Soba burning bright
How I love your orange light
Soba, soba, soba, soba, soba, soba, soba"
Those are the first lines of the epic poem I was planning to write called, "Ode to the Soba" (A Soba is a gas-powered space heater). Unfortunately, as you can tell from the third line, the Soba fumes were starting to made me go brain-dead...
Today was fairly MISERABLE. It is SO COLD here. That laundry that I hung on the line two days ago was still not dry by this afternoon. Not even the second load which I hung in the bathroom was dry-- it's that cold even INSIDE the house. So today, I moved the soba over to the bathroom door and turned it on to dry the clothes. After about two or three hours of periodically moving the clothes around to face the heater most of the clothes were dry and put away.
The Soba heats up nicely, and is pleasant to stand in front of, but the fumes are terrible, and today they were making me dizzy any time I was in the room with the thing. So my choices were suffocate because of the fumes, or freeze to death.
Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore. I couldn't even think. I had to get out of the house. But where could I go? It's Eid al Adha and most people are busy with their families. Most shops are closed. I decided to go to Carrefour. (You know you've got to be half-nuts to go to Carrefour.) It was nice just to be somewhere half-warm where I wasn't choking on fumes. I didn't find anything I wanted, but at least because of the holiday it wasn't crowded.
Then, I went to Safeway and bought an ELECTRIC heater, that doesn't have gas fumes! It was the same price as a gas heater (I was thinking of buying a second one anyway) and it also has a cooling and an air purifier feature. Hopefully it will last me a while. (The gas heaters can go forever because they're simple to repair, but that doesn't do me any good if it kills me first!) So I think from now on, I'll only use the gas heater in the living room/ kitchen, which is much more open, and has more air circulation.
"Soba, soba plastic white,
ELECTRIC makes my head feel right"
Dec. 28th, 2006
09:06 pm - Stairmaster
From our "Best of the Jordanian Blog-O-Sphere" Category, I highlight a Ode to Amman by Roba.
Dec. 27th, 2006
12:00 pm - Mamabean was Right
I returned from Lebanon late last night. My last day there, I started to come down with a cold. Between my cold, and the cold, stormy weather that arrived yesterday, I was feeling pretty miserable, so I decided take a sick day and stay home.
I have lots of laundry to do after my trip, so I put a load in the washer. When it was done, I hung it on the laundry lines on the balcony. Just as I finished hanging the laundry, it started to snow! Somehow, I don’t think this laundry will dry very fast.
Dec. 26th, 2006
09:51 pm - Lebanese Accent
Well, a week-and-a-half in Lebanon wasn't enough to pick up a Lebanese accent. Instead, I sound like a Jordanian trying to fake a Lebanese accent.
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